


Notice That I Exist

by enterthefantasy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, Depression, Flowers, Gardens & Gardening, Gay Male Character, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:09:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enterthefantasy/pseuds/enterthefantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU of One Direction boys in secondary school, focusing primarily on Zayn and Liam and their bitter romance. Liam is the new boy at school, and talks to no one at first. So when he takes a shine to the bullied Zayn, a spark is formed and a love ensues. However, if everything goes wrong in this love, who will be there to pick up the pieces for Zayn? Niall, perhaps?<br/>Meanwhile, Harry and Louis's relationship grows into something more permanent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Taste

I glanced up at the heavy sun, taking in the warmth it offered, and then returned my gaze to the soil below me. It was plain and without any residents, the branches of an overhanging tree shielding it from the summer’s strength. I stroked my finger against my stubbly chin and pondered meticulously. Some pansies could border the path, while a clean queue of snowdrops can sit on the other side. I can also place a few lupins as the centrepiece, and a primrose to accompany them. I wiped a smear of sweat from my forehead before moving to the other side of the patch, for a better angle. What could go here? Hmm…Maybe some daffodils? But it’s summer, and daffodils bloom in the spring. I’ll need to think about that plot. I was looking over the square remains in the corner of the patch. Most peoples’ eyes will be drawn to the lupins, but I want every inch to be filled, including this specific corner. 

I sauntered away from the healthy compost and headed for the bench, which lounged in a circular field with hundreds of colourful flowers acting as the walls. I had to move under the pretty trellis-archway until I was in my haven. My grandiose house was concealed by the plants, and the sound of birds tweeting ethereally embraced me into my own little world. Nestled in a cosy niche within the flowers was the marble sculpture of a devastatingly beautiful man, his brow creased and his lips pursed with complaisance. I allowed a kiss to be bestowed upon his smooth skin, and then turned, with a smile, to the bench. I sat down and crossed my legs like a Buddha, feeling my shoulders unwind and my head clear. Sleep ever so slowly approached me, until…

“Zayn!” My eyes flashed open to my sister in my face, hovering over my bed. “Mum said you have to get up for school.” Her wide smile irked me, and I pushed her off of the bed, begging for five more minutes. I felt my blood boil at the fact that my perfect dream was slain. 

“No, Zayn,” She cried, nudging me. “It’s twenty to nine, wake up!” I heard her light footsteps leave my room, and I sighed to myself. I detested school and all of its students. I could relate to nobody, and the chance of being bullied again was not at all appetising. I couldn’t stand the thought of going back there, but I didn’t want my mum to go to jail for “being an unfit parent”.

“I’m getting up, mum,” I confirmed out to her, my voice hoarse. I pulled the covers off of me and immediately felt the chill of winter sink its claws into my veins, mum not being able to afford the heating. My dream about summer was very appealing right now. I’d had a shower the night before, and my school uniform was washed, so I pulled it on and left, without kissing my mum or sister goodbye. The two second walk down the garden path ascertained that my sleepy reverie was a desire for space.

I’d realised, as I trudged up the street, that maybe I was depressed. My constant dreams about being in a better place were a huge sign, and the evidence of my lack of appetite and affection to anyone pealed a few bells.

I think the main cause to my apparent depression is my lack of romance; I’m openly gay but am not interested in any guy at my school. Harry Styles, who is both popular and gay, does not stir any emotion within me, even though there’s a rumour going around that he’s into me (I’m not flattered by this; he’s into every boy in the school). Louis Tomlinson, who is also gay and the class clown, deters me vehemently. And Niall Horan, the sports lover and (to my surprise) gay, marks no romance within myself.

As I’m enveloped in my thoughts, a blur of colour to my left brings me from them. I looked down at the colour and found that it was the first daffodil to come out. It’s curious it should be out so early. I could feel a smile caress my lips and found that flowers are an odd pleasure for me. We don’t have a garden at home, but the local park is full of beautiful flowers in the summer. Sadly, it is not summer.

The pressing time forced me to leave the lonely daffodil for the even lonelier school. As I got near to the traffic lights, I espied a group of boys standing there, waiting for the man to turn green. My chest tightened, my anxiety building up within me. I tried to do everything in my grasp to go unnoticed by the boys. 

“Is that Zayn Malik?” A deep voice said from the group. Clearly God doesn’t like me today.

I sighed and bowed my head, hiding my scowling countenance. 

“Yeah, it is, Harry. Why don’t you say hi?” Please don’t, Harry. 

“You all right, Zayn?” That is Harry Styles’s greeting. It is not at all an enquiry of concern for my emotions.

I responded by giving him a meek thumbs up and swiftly crossed the road after seeing the green man illuminate.

“If you ever get bored, Zayn, you know where to find me,” I heard petulant sniggers from behind me after Harry’s childish offer.

“Fuck off, Harry,” I whispered to myself, my pace quickening.

I made it to the school gates, Harry and his clique way behind me. I passed Louis, who was smoking a cigarette with his friend, Josh. I held my breath, avoiding any chance of inhaling the smoke. I opened the doors to the reception of the school, feeling a little bit better than being out in the cold, and sat on one of the chairs. Even though I would normally not be allowed to sit in reception before school had begun, the receptionist was lenient towards me. 

I tucked my chin into my chest and caught up on some sleep in these last few minutes, until form time arrived. The interval was too short for me to have a dream, but I did feel a bit more refreshed. The squealing of the bell woke me up. My eyes found themselves land upon a stranger at the reception desk, talking to Sandra with a reserved expression. He was a student, proved by his apparel. I’d never seen him before and he looked about my age. His hair was messy and slightly curly and his lips were plump. I observed him for a few seconds before getting up and heading for my form.

Form was a fifteen minute class before school had formally begun where we were told about the daily achievements of the institution and whether any of us had detention. Today I had none, but Harry had an hour for telling to a teacher to “go fuck themselves”. I shook my head at Harry’s foolishness, but noticed that Louis was giggling at his smart arse replies. Niall was sat at the back of the class with his posse, who were a friendly bunch. They didn’t bother with me if that’s what you’re asking. 

I had a vacant seat to my left and an emo girl to my right. Now don’t get my wrong, I have nothing against emos, but this girl is just too pretentious to be amiable with. Every conversation I have with her is either about the latest cuts on her arm or the latest single by Black Veil Brides. I just nod and smile at her speech, but inside I’m pleading for her to shut up. 

The head of form, Miss Hale, ordered silence in the room. Most of us ceased our talking, except one. Guess who.

“Mr. Styles you already have an hour’s detention, don’t make me increase that by fifteen minutes,” His lips were sealed after that. “Now,” She continued. “I have an announcement to make. In your next lesson you will notice a new face amongst you. His name is Liam Payne and he’s transferred from Harts College. Zayn, he’ll be sitting next to you in form,” I nodded my head at her. My first deduction was that the boy I saw in reception was this Liam. He looked pleasant enough, so I had no objections to being seated next to him. Then again, I had to sit besides Harry in Geography so I think I’d be able to put up with someone else. “Niall, I’ve arranged for him to be sat besides you in Maths.”

“That’s fine, miss,” Niall said, his voice cheery.

“Do we have Maths next, miss?” Louis enquired.

“You should know,” She replied. “But yes, Maths is your next lesson. Do you all have a pen?” Sixty per cent returned with the negative. Five minutes were handed to them as a detention. Now Harry has one hour and five minutes. I was armed with the pen without the teacher’s assistance and left the room for our Maths lesson.

The corridors were buzzing with the school rush, students cramming through the crowds to get to their period. In typical fashion of my character, I waited a few moments before it died down, while Harry and his “crew” barged through the sea of heads, making evident his popularity.

Once it had died down for me, I made my way down the corridor and entered the room. Instantly my eyes cracked up to try and find this new boy; they landed upon the congregation of my peers around Niall’s table. I knew he was there. I seated myself next to Amy, a fair-weather friend, and observed the group babble unanimous questions to the poor boy. I could tell by the few glimpses I got of him that this attention was completely unwanted. Still, I could hear his deep voice respond to them with short answers. All of my interest in the newbie was executed by the entrance of our teacher, Mr. Smith. The congregation dispersed, maintaining sly looks at Liam from their seats, as if he was a deity.  
“Morning, class,” Mr. Smith said in his manly tone. “And good morning, Mr. Payne, it’s nice to have a new face.” The recipient answered with a nod of the head. “Okay, today we’re going to be learning about fractions again, for the upcoming exam. Remember, it’s in only a month, so you need to get revising. I pray you’ve all completed your homework, except you, Liam.”

I pulled out the crinkled piece of paper from my bag and straightened it with my hands. Looking up, I could see that only a few of us had actually performed Mr. Smith’s desired task. “Amy, Louis, Zayn, Toni and Liam, you are free from a detention. The rest of you should know by now to do your homework,” Mr. Smith never seemed to be angry when people disobeyed him; he actually had a smile on his face. Instead, he expressed pity that the rebels would be getting moved down a set later on. He collected in the homework sheets and then jotted down the names of those who did do their homework before he moved on to the actual lesson.

A few minutes passed. I was writing down the notes he had done on the board in my book, conversing quietly with Amy. Every now and then I looked up at Liam, not in an attempt to satisfy my curiosity, but more in an attempt to get used to seeing his face. I could easily get used to it. He seemed to be making no attempt to speak to Niall, the look on his countenance completely introverted and secluded. His eyes continued to move from the board to his book, from the board to his book. Thus, the shock which implanted my heart when he took a glance at me, and only me, was very well deserved. It lasted for a split second, but the accuracy of his gaze made me feel conscious. 

Sir had ordered us to solve the ten fractional equations on the board in fifteen minutes. I scanned them and knew I could take them on easily. To work I went, and within five minutes, I was nearly done. However, I was thwarted from my concentration by the sound of Harry’s sniggering from across the room. I looked up at him and his best friend, Seb, and found that they were laughing while taking looks at Liam. My first thoughts were frustration at their lack of etiquette, but then I felt relieved after seeing that Liam was nonplussed by their actions. Instead, it was sir who was more vexed. 

By the end of ten minutes, I was getting rather confused as to why Liam was making no sound. His lips only moved when he inhaled. I got the sense that he was rude, without courtesy, and banned any thought of him from entering my mind, as I had done with Harry.

Within twelve seconds I had gone against my young rules and thought about why he was so quiet. Was he the type who had been through some awful tragedy and had lost all grasp on his sanity? He’d fit in well with this school if that was the case. What could be the reason? The way his eyes harboured an anxious sense of sorrow, or the fact that a morose sigh sometimes resonated from him pointed into the direction of my own affliction. 

“Mr. Malik!” Sir shouted at me. I jumped out from my thoughts, startled by Mr. Smith’s exclamation. Everyone, except him, was looking at me. Sir continued, “Before you continue staring at the new boy, maybe you should tell me your answers to the fractions.” I heard howls and hoots from the class as my face was enveloped in redness, my cheeks heating. I’d never been more embarrassed in my entire life. I could feel myself want to crawl underneath the table. But it was even more increased by the sight of Liam turning his head to me, his mien quizzical and contemplative. I shied from his eyes, along with the banter impugned upon me. Sir was chuckling, but he still asked me to answer the questions. With a sharp pout, I spoke up, my voice cracking with the recent humiliation. I’d gotten them all correct. Honestly, I wanted to see Liam’s face after my show of intelligence; however, if I was caught out again, I’d die of shame. And so I kept my head down and my mind fixed on my work.

Maths was eroded to the school bell, and I craved to leave that room, reckoning that the thought of public embarrassment would evaporate after I crossed beneath that tattered threshold. Of course Harry mentioned it.

On my own, I traversed the route to our second lesson: English. I was being suffocated by my imaginings when a figure appeared to my right, walking at the same pace as me and ultimately walking with me. I saw that it was Liam, to my astonishment. Also to my astonishment, I said something, “Hi.”

He returned with an abrupt, “Hello.”

I was flattered that he wouldn’t mind being seen with me after Maths’s events. Though I was utterly confused as to why he was my companion, and why he was saying nothing. And then the thought emerged that he was doing so because he did not know the way to English and was using me as a simple guide. This annoyed me, “I think it’s rude that you don’t bother to make any introduction at all while you’re just walking with me so you know your way to English.”

I saw his face behold no flash of emotion. He was sullenly deadpan when he held up the map of the school.

“Oh,” I was, once again, plagued with humiliation. It was even more so when he quickened his step and was now walking to English by his self, way in front of me. I felt my legs pause and then restart. That momentary halt was my mind going haywire for always being paranoid. Stupid Zayn.


	2. Saviour

The rest of the school day passed with transience and celerity. No high matters happened at all, and Liam remained silent to those who craved his words. I was hesitant to show my face to him in class, repulsed by what had happened in the corridor. He must think of me as some kind of an idiot who blurted out whatever sprang to mind. He must know that that is not me. For a reason that was born from nothing, I acted different around this new boy. My mind was encumbered whenever he was near me; my work was hardly offered any attention and my eyes were consistently striking his unique countenance. For the first time in a long time I felt content.

As I walked home the clouds looked menacing, my shoulders being slumped and my feet dragging. Our Art teacher had burdened us with a copious amount of homework which was tucked into my shoulder bag. It was due for tomorrow. The thing is, I had to take care of my sister tonight with my mother being at work. I had no time to complete it. I would definitely have a detention. And the skies mimicked what my eyes soon would. Rain.

I let out a solemn sigh, the icy droplets hitting my black hair. I could afford neither a coat nor an umbrella. The rain grew fiercer with the wind; my cheeks stung, my hands balled into fists. Winter was displaying its furious power now. Envy enveloped all of my emotions as I saw wealthier students walk home in groups wearing waterproof attire. I could see them jumping in the growing puddles, finding leisure in this irksome occurrence. My will failed me after I begged it to ignore the icy pain stretching from my fingers. 

I knitted my brow after hearing a familiar voice behind me, “You look cold, Zayn.” It was Harry and his friend, Seb.

After I ignored him, the duo caught up with me, now on either side. They seemed to be walking in a friendly manner, but I saw through it with ease, “Why are you ignoring us?” Harry pressed, casting me a teasing look.

“I didn’t hear you.”

Seb, who was the most intimidating of the pair, spoke up, “You obviously did hear us.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t; your overwhelming ego seems to blot out all noise being channelling from you,” They both looked at me curiously, and I knew that they didn’t understand what I meant.

“Why do you talk like that?” Harry enquired. I couldn’t help but look at him. When I did, I saw that he was clad in a winter coat. Suddenly, the icy rain returned to my senses. I shuddered underneath it, but replied to them. “Why do I have wit? I understand that you would ask that question, being deprived of the answer.”

Seb’s rakish laughter was demeaning to me, which was frustrating that these delinquents should get to me. “Mate, no one knows what you’re talking about.”

“Why are you walking with me?” I shivered and embraced myself, ironically trying to keep my cool.

“Because we’re your friends,” Seb said in a harsh manner. I glanced at Harry and saw that his gaze was ambiguous and his lips were sealed.

I scoffed, “Believe me, if you were my friends then I would resort to glue sniffing.”

Seb grasped me by the shoulder firmly, making me gasp. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I saw Harry watching the scene with wide eyes, and passing strangers do the same before they walked away. I replied to Seb’s query with a lump in my throat; I didn’t want to be a coward yet I also didn’t want to be punched in the face, “It’s a well known fact around the school that you do that, Seb.”

“No I fucking don’t,” He spat out, the scent of smoke in his breath. “And if you tell anybody anything like that then I will stand on your frail, little neck.”

I cast my eyes down, away from Seb’s menacing glare. The next thing that I expected was a kick to the stomach, but instead it was another party’s voice. “I don’t think that you will do that.”

The three of us snapped our heads to the voice’s figure. It was, to my utter surprise, Liam. His lips were closed into a lifeless line and his sharp gaze sent a tingle down my spine. He held a black umbrella over his head, keeping his curly locks dry. Seb let me go and sauntered over to him, their faces inches apart, “Who’s going to stop me? You?”

“Don’t speak about me with such dismissiveness.”

“Or else what? You’re just a new kid who doesn’t know who he’s messing with.”

Liam did not flinch despite Seb’s proximity. I wanted to step into the fray, but a voice in the back of my mind suggested that I shouldn’t. It predicted that Liam could take care of himself. This prediction was proven by his response to Seb’s accusation, “I do know who I’m messing with: a pretentious boy who preys on people who are weaker than him. However, you have nothing to be pretentious about,” There was a damp pause. “Do you even know what pretentious means?”

Seb looked to Harry for help, receiving a shrug. He turned back to Liam and said, “I don’t need to know, but you need to know when to back off.” I noticed a slight quiver in Seb’s speech. As a reason to this, I followed his eye line and found that it landed upon Liam’s biceps pressing against his jumper.  
“I do know when to back off, but I also know when to step in. You’re bullying someone. I am a pacifist, though when it comes to bullies, my pacifism is scratched away,” Liam swiped a look at me. I smiled at him.

“Why do you all speak like you’re from the Middle-Ages?!” Seb exclaimed.

“Trying to change the subject, are we?” Liam said, and then sighed. “Still, it deters a fight. Zayn you can stand next to me if you want; I know how wet you are,” Harry chuckled at this, seeing an innuendo, to which I shot him a warning look. “You’re offer is too kind, Liam.” I did pine to be out of this weather, but I was raised to deny an act of kindness the first time it was assigned.

“Come,” He returned with, his tone commanding. I instantly adhered to it, shuffling under his umbrella, trying not to touch him in case it irked him. The lack of rain hitting my head was heavenly, but the warmth in my chest when beside Liam was even greater. The protector said, “Sebastian, I am now going to leave. I pray that you will not degrade another person again.”

“I promise that I won’t, I’m sorry,” I couldn’t help but laugh at seeing Seb be so pitiable all of a sudden. 

“What’s amusing?” Liam said to me, his lips appearing to suppress a smile. 

“Nothing worth noting.”

“Okay then. You can follow me,” He said to I. “Goodbye, boys.” He bid to Harry and Seb, who were watching us both. Liam then began to walk, and I had no choice but to follow, desiring not to be without the umbrella’s defence.

Liam was walking at a speedy pace, the same pace in the English corridor when I falsely accused him. I had a hard time keeping up, my small legs hardly matching his strong ones. His steps were my strides. It appeared that he did not notice my struggle, instead saying, “Where do you live?”

I told him my address before enquiring as to why he asked me that. “Because I’m walking you home, why else?”

I could feel a bubble heighten in my heart, something which I’d only heard about. This is what happened in romances, where the man escorts the woman home; of course I was   
not a woman, and my life was not a romance. “That is too kind of you.”

“Once again, your attempt at defusing my objective is futile.”

Years of reading novels helped me to understand his sentence, “Futile it may be, but impolite it definitely is not.”

“You were brought up correctly then? It appears that the overwhelming majority of this town is starved of that luxury.”

“If that is a luxury then the gift of it has suffocated all other forms of the word.”

He looked at me while we were halted at the traffic lights, “What do you mean?”

“My family is not exactly well off,” I frowned at this fact.

“Is that your primary concern?” His voice was undecipherable.

I had to lie to him, “Yes, it is,” My primary concerns were littered in my dreams; money did not interfere with them. The mood was dark as we awaited the traffic light’s green man to shine. In lieu of this, I brightened it by saying, “I am so sorry that I said you were only following me in the English corridor because I was a guide. I was not thinking.”

Liam smiled, “You were thinking. You were thinking very well. I was not following you for the reason you accused me of, although it was very admirable of your intellect to reckon this.”

I blushed, “Thank you. I have also noticed that your vocabulary and articulation is strong. Where did you find such things?”

“Where did you find yours?” Our eyes locked momentarily. I felt my heart beat in my chest, patting my ribs. The green man terminated this affectionate moment.

“This weather is brilliant, isn’t it?” I added a few metres from the traffic lights. We’d crossed the road by now. 

“It is. I knew you were being sarcastic there, but I find rain to be a very pleasant thing; what is more magical than life falling from the sky?”

I let out a laugh, “I apologise for laughing; it’s just to talk to someone who owns a brain…It’s very refreshing.”

To my annoyance, he didn’t respond. Silence ensued aside from the falling rain and the babble of citizens. We were nearing my street now, and I wanted to speak to him more before his escorting me ended. My mind mustered up the first coherent sentence it could think of. “I wasn’t looking at you in Maths, by the way. Sir was being a bit deluded.”

He cocked his head at me, his left eyebrow raised and the same corner of his lips tilting upwards into a devastatingly handsome half-smile. He erased this feature by saying, “Were you not? I was flattered for a moment, but to know it was in vain has damaged my pride.”

I giggled, finding that he had moved a little bit closer to me under the umbrella. “I told a little white lie there, actually. I was looking at you, but not for the reason that you might think?”

“Okay, Zayn, I believe you,” When he spoke my name, I felt my lips part to reveal a flustered exhale. 

“I didn’t know you were such a sycophant, Liam.”

“I didn’t know you were such a starer,” He shut me up there with his counter.

Sadly, we came to my house. “This is me.” I waited by my gate for a response.

“It’s been nice to meet you, Zayn.” I could detect nothing in his words. Was he purposely hiding affection?

“Likewise. Thank you for walking me home with the umbrella,” I absentmindedly brought my hand up to my hair, stroking the wet strands.

“I am a gentleman.”

“You are,” I said with a hearty grin.

There was a pause burdened without awkwardness or efficacy to embarrassment. It was nice to be in this new boy’s aura. He ended our first real meeting with a farewell. I returned it and entered my house with a sprint to dodge the accurate rain.


	3. Atmospheres

My heart was smouldering after I’d entered my house, which was convenient, for though serendipitous scenes had stretched a few moments before, our family was not wealthy enough to afford true warmth. Yet it seemed that this unnatural perk described firstly had exhaled upon my two relations; our bubbling conversation around the table about Liam’s actions was most welcome. The conversation soon turned to my mother’s astonishment at my evident exultation, something which I received with contentment at the fact of my spirits and offence at the fact that my guardian was shocked that I was happy. Passing momentary enquiries about my demanding homework schedule, the chat returned to Liam, where we spoke about his courtesy to a fellow male. Mother suggested that his orientation, sexually, could sway to my own direction. That I shrugged off, sensing his ways as purely polite and diplomatic.

Mum bid farewell with the conversation’s end, leaving for work as a nurse. The door closed and it was just my sister Alyssa and myself.

In the seven hours which spanned from my mother’s absence to my sleep, I’d fed Alyssa and entertained her with the Disney Channel. I’d tucked her into bed on the fifth hour and spent the remaining two attempting to complete my Art homework. But I could barely focus on the assignment or the preceding tasks with much thought, for they were constantly submerged in Liam.

When I slept that night I was bestowed with a dream consisting entirely of the person whom you’d expect. And thus deprived of the nocturnal reverie once mother awoke me, I was cast into being melancholy yet again, just like yesterday’s morning, and the countless mornings before that. Though the reason for this emotion was not, so I thought, for being depressed. It was for the soul crushing desire to be close to the dream’s subject. Therefore, to be melancholy is just; the pining for somebody who you may never have a chance with is hellishly haunting and hurtful to the bearer.

It was a doomed attempt, then, to try to ignore Liam when were in form, because what the heart craves the heart will strive to receive.

He had granted me with a smile of acknowledgment when he took his seat besides me. This smile was granted to no other student. Already had the doomed attempt lived up to its name as I returned the gesture. My eyes must have been glowing; the reflection of them in his was unmistakable.

After that there were no words spoken between us until our journey to the second period, German. Before I inform you on the speech regarding the two minute walk, however, I must tell you that Liam and I maintained swift glances at one another as well as focused considerable attention towards either of us if compared to our peers, when we were stationed in the first lesson, which was History.

But that is history.

So, our first conversation of the day occurred as I walked briskly to German. My mind was primarily centred on my incomplete Art homework. Without warning, I was swept from this thought by the resident of another, procured via the same engagement as the English corridor scenario yesterday.

“Liam,” I said to myself, although he probably mistook it as a greeting due to my inadvertently jovial tone. 

“Good morning,” I could see that his face was strained, as usual.

“It is, if you pit it against our last meeting’s weather,” My left infected onto him. Little did he know that I was laughing because I was so happy that he was walking with me.

“That’s true. The clouds have definitely used up all of their power for a few days.”

“What a shame,” When he enquired as to why it was so, I said, “Because then you can’t escort me home, like the gentleman you are.”

His countenance brightened up, and he disbanded the strained expression for a natural and handsome grin, an almost mesmerising feature that was widened by his response,   
“You shouldn’t have to worry about inclement weather as an excuse for an escort with me; I’ll gladly walk you home despite it.”

I turned away hastily to conceal my overzealous smile, “I cannot respond to that, though know that it is a very pleasant remark.”

“Have you completed your Art homework?” He said quickly after, much to my frustration, for I desired him to spread out words on our relationship. But then my frustration disintegrated into disappointment, disappointment that he’d see his escorting as an act of courtesy and not the nursing of a romantic seed. 

“No, I have not,” I replied in a solemn tone. I allowed myself to speak in such a way because he’d see it as misery to my impending detention.

“Why haven’t you?”

“I had a job to do. I spent a couple of hours doing it, but it wasn’t enough; I was pretty distracted.”

He paused as we ascended the flight of stairs to the Linguistics department, passing busy students on the way. When we reached the top, he said, with a nonchalant voice mixed with utter concern for the answer, “Well, I have nothing to do at lunch besides eat, so maybe we could go to the library together and complete it.”  
I was, for the second time, forced to hide my brilliant smile from him. The answer which he was so desperate to receive was in the most affable affirmative.

With this plan in mind, German was advanced by with an acute proclivity to distraction, mainly because of Liam, but also because of my loquacious neighbour, Louis.  
Whilst the teacher prattled on, Louis and I had a chat in whispers, Louis being the initiator. “Zayn, what’s the new boy like then?” 

I looked up from my dictionary after scouring for the German equivalent to ‘harlequin’. “What makes you think I’d know about him?”

Louis scoffed, taking a glance at Liam, and then a prolonged one at his neighbour, Harry Styles. “Everyone’s talking about how he defended you and then walked you home.”

I pursed my lips, “And you believe this?”

“Yeah, I do; I saw the two of you walking here before as well.”

“What do you want to know about him?” I said after a pause. “I’m not intimate with him, Louis.”

“What is your status with him?” His tone was pressing.

“I’d say a formal acquaintance.”

“Why has he taken a shine to you? You’re nothing special.” He had some exasperation in his mien, and I knew I shouldn’t retaliate. “I don’t know why, Louis.”

“Do you think he’s gay?”

I stared at Louis’s eager expression disdainfully. I didn’t know why I was vexed at his enquiry, “Do you have any etiquette?”

He ignored my censure, turning to Liam and saying, in a flustered voice, “So you don’t deny it?”

“To be honest, Louis, I don’t think he’d try to claim you, even if he was gay.”

My companion jerked his head around, a venomous tinge in his eye, “As if you just said that. What makes you so special and able to judge or understand people?”

“You’re being inappropriate.”

“And you’re being a prejudiced bastard. I’m glad that this has happened, this little tiff, ‘cause I can finally express my frustration to you,” His voice raised, and a few people in the class turned to see the scene unfold, Harry and Liam included. I shied away from the inquisitive gaze of the class, urging Louis to keep his voice down, which he swiped aside, “Who do you think you are? You’ve always been so stuck up your own arse, thinking you’re better than everyone else. Newsflash, Zayn, you’re not. You aren’t even that good looking either, so don’t tell me that I’m not good enough for people.”

However, a counter was not shot back at him by me, since I had burrowed my face into my arms on the table after seeing the rest of the class impugn their attention upon us. It seemed an age until the teacher called Louis out. He portrayed his vexation to her also, earning a detention and a station to another class. Two minutes after he’d left I lifted my head up, and although everyone was now looking down at their work, I could feel their thoughts be assailed upon me. I knew they were internally laughing or judging me after Louis’s declaration. Even I was judging myself. Was I ugly? And was I pretentious? I saw myself as neither, yet as the day passed on I spotted each flaw in my skin, and the condescending cogitations I seized upon others

By the time lunch had arrived, my mood was impressed with insecurity. I’d avoided Louis at all costs, to avoid subjection to another of his seemingly perfect deductions. In the process of hiding from Louis, I’d inadvertently secreted myself from Liam. I was glad that I had, though, because I didn’t want to know that he was probably judging me too.

Ensconced in the clandestine library that no other student was aware of, I pondered meticulously about what Louis had said. I knew I wouldn’t be found in here, since there were two school libraries, and everyone attended to the first. Still, it felt as though they were there, thinking about me. I hadn’t felt this self conscious since year nine, two years ago. I also felt extremely guilt for standing Liam up, but he must know, be it telepathically, that I’m doing this so he doesn’t judge me. I must see him soon enough, however, like in our final class, Maths. I was internally cursing myself for having no able tact until I heard the door to the library open up. I froze in my spot behind the bookshelf, hidden from the door, and waited for the intruder to find me, which they surely would. How in God’s name did they come across this place? It was guarded by the caretaker’s office, so no one would long to venture into it. Why are the Heavens plaguing me today?

There was a two seconds pause that seemed an age until a voice called out in a whisper, “Zayn, are you in here?” It was Liam, and the voice was fraught with concern and empathy.   
I felt a shudder at hearing him, and stood up and faced him. He looked at me with an air of mystery, a twinkle in his eye, whose meaning I could not figure out. “What are you doing in here?” He said to me, closing the door quietly and returning us to the dim light being transmitted from the one lamp.

“Hiding.”

“Why?” He furrowed his brow, and after a short sprint to a conclusion, he said, in his deep tone, “From Louis? Why hide from him?”

I scrunched up my face and strode over to another bookcase, “Maybe because he humiliated me.”

“How could he? I didn’t feel embarrassed for you; I felt embarrassed for him!”

I sighed, “It’s nice how you’re trying to cheer me up, but I know what he said is true.”

Then he sighed, “It really wasn’t. You’re not stuck up at all.”

I clicked on to how he avoided Louis’s shunning at my appearance, but said, “I am, Liam, and I need to change it,” A pause ensued, and I said to him, turning around, “You should go, you have lunch to eat.”

He took a few steps towards me, observing my expression, “I’m not going to leave you in this temper.”

“Why, though? Why do you care about my affairs?” I bowed me head, staring dejectedly at the floor. 

“Because I’m a gentleman,” I brought my eyes up to his and saw that starry twinkle in them again, and the mesmerising grin caress his face. I couldn’t help but smile with him, agreeing that he was a gentleman. He said, “You can smile better than that, Zayn.”

I narrowed my eyes at his challenge, whereas my lips subconsciously took it on, “There we go,” His praise was flattering to me. He continued to look at me for a moment. The air became tense and atmospheric, the shadows cast by the lonely light sending dramatic contours on either of our faces. I gulped and said, “I really don’t care about my Art homework.”

“What do you want to do instead?” He whispered, taking another step to me, our bodies now inches apart. I could feel the warmth radiating from him, and could smell his devilish scent. 

“I want to to…” The silence was deafening.

“…kiss?” Liam finished for me.


End file.
